Please, if you sell this stuff, just don't do it in my neighborhood.

This article in the Times tells the anecdote of one woman’s experience with the “Death Bear,” a person who comes to your house disguised as a black bear to get rid of the traces of your ex.

This idea, although slightly ridiculous, also has some merit. As Ms. Berlin says, “Maybe it was bizarre to invite a complete stranger dressed as a psychedelic animal into your house to remove your most intimate possessions. Then again, maybe it wasn’t.”

There are some things in life that are inordinately difficult to do on our own- and one of these things is throwing out any sort of memorabilia, but particularly memorabilia that has to do with one’s ex.

I think that part of our hesitation to let go of the things that connect us to our exes is based on the unreasonable hope that things aren’t completely over with them- that and a desire to retain a connection to them through these tangible objects because it is just too hard to really let them go.

But you don’t have to call a random stranger with a bear fetish to help you get over your ex. As the song goes, “that’s what friends are for.”

When you know you are having trouble doing something or getting through something, ask a friend for help.  The act of giving and receiving help from someone creates a a strong emotional bond, which is the lattice in a good friendship. Self-sufficiency doesn’t mean that you have to do everything, and bear everything, yourself. If you reach out for help, those who care about you will come.

Even if they are not dressed as bears.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/07/fashion/07love.html?scp=4&sq=love%20&st=cse

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 at 1:22 pm and is filed under Break-Ups, advice, advice for guys, advice for women, communication, exes, friendship, social anthropology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.